TALKIE PANTS

Thoughts right before my first lunch date:

I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I really feel like I’m going to shit myself. Urgh, maybe dating isn’t for me. Actually I think the cheerios from this morning just kicked in, maybe I really am going to shit myself.

Oh well, don’t want to be late, so I better get going. Best of luck to me.


THE DATE WITH TALKIE PANTS:

The forecast is 90% blabber. It’s really great that my first lunch date loves to talk and he talks about anything. And he asked questions too, although not any good ones, but I just can’t tell exactly who this guy is. I think he’s a bit of a narcissist, because he made such a big point of explaining that he’s not, which is weird. Wow, and how much prodding does this guy have to do into my match dating life. He says he’s had a hard time finding girls, but he gets 20 emails a week off match. I really doubt he’s that hard up on getting dates, and I feel like I’m just another number. But I guess that’s the match world, you’re supposed to explore and see who you meet. I’m doing that too, and he happens to be a number on my list.

I learned one thing, I honestly CANNOT take a compliment; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. He kept saying, “You must get 50 or emails a week because you’re beautiful, smart and funny.” He kept saying that over and over. I just shrug and say “thank you, I know”. Then he’d say it again, I’m not sure if I’m suppose to compliment him back? Is that why he kept repeating himself? I could have said something like, “I really like your smile.” Actually I don’t even know if I liked his smile, not sure if I liked much about him, besides the fact that this guy definitely isn’t boring. “I like that you’re not boring.”

He divulged the fact that he eats cereal pretty much for every meal, kind of weird. He’s a 37 year old bachelor eating cereal by himself 6 days a week. When you say it out loud I guess that’s about right. I believe the most awkward moment was when he’d ask me, “tell me something about yourself.” I hate being prompted, because my mind goes blank. I ummm…. Ummm…. I can’t think of a goddamn thing right now, shit, think of something, say something, awkward silence. “I don’t know, what do you want to know?” I like it better when you just talk and it’s not forced by an open ended question, urgh. Or when he asks me to “say something funny”, urgh, “you’re really pissing me off right now, is that funny?” instead I giggle and god only knows what I said.

But the #1 moment of the date, which should go on a wall of shame is… I was explaining how I came up with one of my latest before and after phrases, “holy shit stain.” And how I was inspired by my trip to Peru. DOH! My attempt at saving this conversation was to explain the sanitary conditions of Peru. This led him to ask about the hole in the ground toilets and how you had to bring your own paper. He did have an excellent question about how the locals wiped? I responded by saying “they’re probably like dogs, rubbing their butts on the ground.” Picturing a Sherpa scooting over a pile of leaves. He accidentally thought I said something about “they have licking dogs.” Good times. You gotta love the fact that I brought ‘poop’ up over a full plate of food, score one for me.

Dating is like an outer body experience for me. I know I’m on this date and I know I’m talking to this guy, but I have no clue how this is progressing. And the entire time, I’m confused as to whether or not I’m liking or not liking the guy sitting across from me. It feels really judgey too. For example, at times I think “what he just said was stupid, oh crap what I just said was stupid, shit I was thinking and I don’t know where the conversation went, pay attention.”

Overall the date seemed a success, and he immediately asked me out again. Gave me the option of telling him what night I’m free and it’s a date. I will take the opportunity of the second date to see if I’m attracted to him, the first physical attraction wasn’t there, but sometimes it doesn’t happen until you get to know someone. So yes, I definitely plan on seeing him again, I just have to pick a night.

Other dating news... I have a few dates in work for this weekend, so I'll keep the posts coming.

I am potty trained

No joke... i think that's the funniest tag line I've seen so far. It's just a shame this guy looks soo douchy. I mean his profile consists of him grabbing his croch, him dancing on some dance floor in his beefy glory, and yes another pic of him shirtless.

Good news is, there's tons better out there and one guy has officially asked me for coffee. I should be receiving a call soon. In the meantime, it's getting really hard to keep track of which guy is which in my correspondence. Is this the guy from Seattle, the one with the kid, the one who's going to culinary school or the one who served in Iraq? I think that adds up to me winking at anyone within a 15 mile radius. To help myself out, I'm going to start referring to them as such;

daughter
Seattle
Lawyer
chef
aggie
iraq
irish
6'3''

I just hope one day I don't sing saltyballs to lawyer instead of Chef on accident. Front runner is Irish, he's the one who has asked me for coffee, I hope it's Irish coffee. I'm also liking 6'3''; he's seems pretty cool, I think I gave him my number, but now they're all running together through my head sp maybe not.

Daughter seems pretty cool too, he's going to see Annie tonight, isn't that precious. I guess she's not having a hard not life, since her dad seems pretty sweet.

Tonight I'm going out with friends hopefully I might be able to pick up some boys while out on the town.

Why a BLOG?

I have come to the realization that I have less than 6 months untill my 30th birthday. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that, so many different things run through my head;
1) YES, I have had 30 awesome years of life, traveling, working, going to school, making life long friends, seeing my sisters and brother grow up and have kids of their own. I am so blest!
2) Thank JEBUS, I'm not that idiot I use to be. I have never felt more confident and known myself better. I really am in control of my life and myself.
3) I've had relationships that vary from one nighters to 2 years. And learned from all the craziness.
4) HOLY SHIT, I'm gonna be 30 and I'm F-ing single.
5) HOLY SHIT, I'm gonna be 30 and still don't have a family of my own.
6) HOLY SHIT, I'm gonna be 30 while all of my best friends have husbands or serious boyfriends or kids.
7) HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT... I HATE DATING! How in the hell will I be able to find anyone when I suck at first impressions and getting a guy.
8) HOLY SHIT, I'm gonna be 30.
9) TURNING 30
10) 30, sigh, urgh

For at least the next couple months or until I lose interest in blogging, I will be exploring the dating world of MATCH, maybe eharmony, begging friends to set me up, and just finding as many dates as possible. Why as many as possible? well, I figure I don't want to settle on something that might work out, I've done that and that bastered took 2 years of my hot youth. Plus, the more guys I meet the more I'll start identifying what type of guy I want to be with.

I am doing this for my own entertainment and hopefully my friends entertainment who might want to follow along for the ride. I will hold nothing back from the blog-o-sphere. This will be a tell all kind fo journey, meaning when I make an ass of myself which is bound to happen, you will be the first to find out. When some douche bag decides to get plastered and becomes discusting, you will hear all the gory details.

Just to let you know I joined Match last week, I already have 26 emails in my inbox and 2 guys phone numbers, so my journey is about to begin, mawahaha.

So, until next time, happy hunting!