TALKIE PANTS

Thoughts right before my first lunch date:

I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I really feel like I’m going to shit myself. Urgh, maybe dating isn’t for me. Actually I think the cheerios from this morning just kicked in, maybe I really am going to shit myself.

Oh well, don’t want to be late, so I better get going. Best of luck to me.


THE DATE WITH TALKIE PANTS:

The forecast is 90% blabber. It’s really great that my first lunch date loves to talk and he talks about anything. And he asked questions too, although not any good ones, but I just can’t tell exactly who this guy is. I think he’s a bit of a narcissist, because he made such a big point of explaining that he’s not, which is weird. Wow, and how much prodding does this guy have to do into my match dating life. He says he’s had a hard time finding girls, but he gets 20 emails a week off match. I really doubt he’s that hard up on getting dates, and I feel like I’m just another number. But I guess that’s the match world, you’re supposed to explore and see who you meet. I’m doing that too, and he happens to be a number on my list.

I learned one thing, I honestly CANNOT take a compliment; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. He kept saying, “You must get 50 or emails a week because you’re beautiful, smart and funny.” He kept saying that over and over. I just shrug and say “thank you, I know”. Then he’d say it again, I’m not sure if I’m suppose to compliment him back? Is that why he kept repeating himself? I could have said something like, “I really like your smile.” Actually I don’t even know if I liked his smile, not sure if I liked much about him, besides the fact that this guy definitely isn’t boring. “I like that you’re not boring.”

He divulged the fact that he eats cereal pretty much for every meal, kind of weird. He’s a 37 year old bachelor eating cereal by himself 6 days a week. When you say it out loud I guess that’s about right. I believe the most awkward moment was when he’d ask me, “tell me something about yourself.” I hate being prompted, because my mind goes blank. I ummm…. Ummm…. I can’t think of a goddamn thing right now, shit, think of something, say something, awkward silence. “I don’t know, what do you want to know?” I like it better when you just talk and it’s not forced by an open ended question, urgh. Or when he asks me to “say something funny”, urgh, “you’re really pissing me off right now, is that funny?” instead I giggle and god only knows what I said.

But the #1 moment of the date, which should go on a wall of shame is… I was explaining how I came up with one of my latest before and after phrases, “holy shit stain.” And how I was inspired by my trip to Peru. DOH! My attempt at saving this conversation was to explain the sanitary conditions of Peru. This led him to ask about the hole in the ground toilets and how you had to bring your own paper. He did have an excellent question about how the locals wiped? I responded by saying “they’re probably like dogs, rubbing their butts on the ground.” Picturing a Sherpa scooting over a pile of leaves. He accidentally thought I said something about “they have licking dogs.” Good times. You gotta love the fact that I brought ‘poop’ up over a full plate of food, score one for me.

Dating is like an outer body experience for me. I know I’m on this date and I know I’m talking to this guy, but I have no clue how this is progressing. And the entire time, I’m confused as to whether or not I’m liking or not liking the guy sitting across from me. It feels really judgey too. For example, at times I think “what he just said was stupid, oh crap what I just said was stupid, shit I was thinking and I don’t know where the conversation went, pay attention.”

Overall the date seemed a success, and he immediately asked me out again. Gave me the option of telling him what night I’m free and it’s a date. I will take the opportunity of the second date to see if I’m attracted to him, the first physical attraction wasn’t there, but sometimes it doesn’t happen until you get to know someone. So yes, I definitely plan on seeing him again, I just have to pick a night.

Other dating news... I have a few dates in work for this weekend, so I'll keep the posts coming.