Talkie Pants Date #3

He should get an E for Effort? a D for Dumbass? maybe a C for Courageous? B for Ballsey? No, no it’s definitely an A for After last night I will never see you again.

Summary of 3rd date for 3rd grade readers:
Boy talks a lot.
Boy likes girl.
Girl does not like boy in “that way”.
Boy tries to convince girl to date him.
Boy kisses girl.
Girl giggles in nervous laughter at boy kissing attempt.
Girl tells boy she’s not feeling ‘it’.
Boy kisses girl again.
Girl repeats that she’s NOT FEELING ‘IT’.

Next day, boy texts girl about a 4th date. WTF?

When it comes down to it, I really want to find someone who likes to do more things than talk and talk and talk. And it’s a lot of energy to continue conversations for hours and hours. Plus, with talkie pants, it seems that a lot of time and energy must be spent on talking whether it’s about him, me or even the weather, hehe. I think I’d like to spend that time more with myself or just in my own brain. I don’t necessarily want to share every thought I have and be in constant communication. Plus, the talking feels more like gibber gabber than humorous or fun. It’s talking for the sake of talking.

We have gone out 3 times in less than a week, which seems like a lot. Plus, I still just wasn’t feeling any sparks or “I want to rip your clothes off vibes.” I just felt like I was hesitating on the decision to ‘date’ or ‘friend’ him. I guess the hesitation really gives me my answer, which is ‘friend’. I’m just not that into him.

He asked what it was I didn’t like about him and I told him several things,
1) You don’t have a ‘pause’ button, and silence would be nice sometimes
2) I don’t like your schedule
3) I didn’t like how we got into the soft opening of that restaurant
4) I don’t like your job
5) I like to do more things than eat, and would like to date someone more active.

His response
1) I don’t like silence and I LOVE to talk, talking makes me happy
2) I don’t like your schedule
3) I really had an invitation to that opening and I would never weasel my way into something like that
4) It’s just a job
5) I will be more than happy to do anything you want me to. “you pick and activity and I am there, … you can peg me with tennis balls if that makes you happy.”


I’m really not sure what to do now. This guy seems desperate to hang on to a girl that told him she wasn’t really interested. The sad thing is that I’d like to have him as a friend and someone to talk to once in a while. He really is a good talker, but I really don’t want to date him or kiss him ever again. It really was like kissing my brother or cousin, just seemed WRONG. Note: I’ve never kissed my brother or cousin, but I’d imagine it’d be like kissing talkie pants.

I figure my options here are to 1) ignore his text and calls and never talk to him again, 2) send an email telling him I really don’t want to date him but if we could be friends that would be fun 3) give it one more shot and put him through Dating ‘BOOTCAMP’

Dating ‘BOOTCAMP’- I have several ideas for this. Phase I will consist of fun outdoor activities. Anyone whose life consists of sitting in A/C would find this phase to be miserable and send them home crying. Activities would include, running the lake at my pace, this guy would not make it one mile. Followed by tennis or a pick up game of Ultimate Frisbee, maybe some sand volleyball and a 20minute swim just to be nice and let him cool off. Then I would commence Phase II, cigarettes and alcohol. Get all my friends together and scare this guy shit-less, I know it can be done. He would be running home so fast that he would be speechless. Not to mention, I would throw some extra farts and burps and crudeness in the mix, coupled with short tight shorts that show my cottage cheese thighs and tummy fat rolls. MAHWAHAHAHA, it’s a good plan.

Other dating news
I have a new date tonight with Lazy-eyed Daughter. The new adjective was at the suggestion of friends. My goal is to spend the night getting to know him and not his lazy eye. I’m not even sure if he has a lazy eye, there just seems to be a few questionable pictures on his profile. Anyways, I’m excited at this new prospect and I will keep you posted.